Three (3) Chaim-ku

Chaim, Hebrew for 'Life'
But what does Bar-Levi mean?
It means 'Beast in Shorts'

How great is Chaim's love?
He'll love you so deeply, you'll
secrete CCK

How great is Chaim's love?
He'll love you so deeply, that
Chaim's in your Chyme

Quote of the Day

"I have finally finished baking those cookies and brewing that Coffee. I gotta get some shut eye before the big day tomorrow."- Chaim Bar-eli, several minutes before changing into his PJs for bed

A Warning

"I'm going to hit the sack in a few. You better come to POPS or its your ass"

What do Chaim, Wade Boggs, Rick Flair, and the temporal cortex have to do with each other??? More than you think

 

You know how you sometimes have dreams, then it's extremely difficult to piece them together the next morning? Well that's not the case with the one I had last night.....I can never forget this. It's ironic that the very week we celebrate our first

 annual Chaim Day, the little devil himself is making multiple appearances in my nightly hallucations. 

C- CLARITY 

So we all know who the greatest Yankee to never win a World Series was, right?? While it may be Don Mattingly, I was always more of a Wade Boggs fan, especially since he actually did help us win the World Series in '96. Anyway, their is a lesser known side of Boggs: his scholarship of 18th century British history. He isn't just your run-of-the mill author arguing that King George wasn't that bad of a guy. He liked to roll up his sleeves and get involved in some of the messier problems of the day. 

Going back to my dream, for some reason I was on a ship headed towards London. Where I departed from I am still unsure. Maybe Technotitilan? Possibly New Orleans? That's not the point. I was accompanying none other than legendary politician Pitt the Elder, who had been vacationing in the "New World" after his New Castle government coalition had been dissolved in 1761. Yes, this was before the revolutionary war, before we would fight for our independence the very first of many times to come. You will NEVER guess who the captain of the ship was?

H- HEROIC

Chaim "Howard" Bar-Eli himself. Now while we all like to consider ourselves experts on his life, I personally was not aware of any previous maritime experiences that may have qualified him for his role. 

A- ACADEMIC

Back on the deck of the ship, we were in the midst of a severe storm. Chaim's heroism was on display for everyone, rescuing multiple sailors from falling overboard to a sure drowning, steering the ship with such mastery that it would make that pilot from Top Gun jealous. 

I- IN tune with your feelings

Unfortunately, even Chaim could not save me. I slipped on a relatively salty portion of the deck and slammed my head into the ground. Suddenly, I accused everyone around me of being an imposter. Even though there was not much that even Chaim could do for me, he was able to diagnose a bilateral lesion in my temporal association cortex. I wasn't sure where this dream was taking me but it was at this moment that I was awaken by my alarm clock. 

M- MATURITY

DONT FORGET ABOUT POPS TOMORROW FROM 9AM to 11 AM

Chaim-lick maneuver

Donations

Each Chaim Day activity will be free of charge for RWJMS students. However, donations would be appreciated. 100% of the proceeds to the 2009 Chaim Day will go to one of the three following charities:

1.) "Buy Chaim a Lap Dance Fund"
2.) "Chaim Sleeps Over at Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch Fund"
3.) "Growth Hormone for Medical Students Under 5'6" Fund"

Promise Keepers

We've received an overwhelming number of requests from students willing to give their virginity to Chaim. While we appreciate the sentiment, perhaps people are being overzealous. Perhaps even misguided. I'm looking you straight in the face and speaking slowly, Wajdi.